Embarrassing Experiences

I thought I might share a few silly stories about some of my embarrassing experiences.

#1 Reflexes

I have great reflexes. If I hit my leg right over my kneecap, my leg will shoot out. No problem. So, one time in high school I was demonstrating this amazing talent. I was in drama class. There are no desks in drama class, it's basically like stadium seating. So, I hit my kneecap and my leg immediately shot out...and kicked the bum of the guy who was sitting in front of me. I said "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! It was a reflex!" He looked at me with a bemused, lecherous look on his face and said "I'll bet it was a reflex." Aye yai yai!

#2 Rainman...er, Raingirl

I believe this happened while I was in late jr. high school or early high school. We had all been driving in my Mom's van and she decided to stop and get us all Jamba Juices. My little sleepy head sister, Laurie, had fallen asleep on the ride. As we got out of the car and into the store, we realized that Laurie's leg was still asleep. Don't you hate it how much your leg tingles as it is waking up? Well, I was being a bit of a tease and while we were waiting for our Jamba Juice, I was kicking Laurie's leg (not hard--just enough to get a reaction out of her). Now, you have to know what Laurie's like when she is still groggy after waking up in order to get the whole picture here. She is lethargic and she mumbles and well, she's not quite herself. So, I was kicking her leg and she was limping and mumbling "Tharah, leeeeave meee alooooone."

As I was in the midst of kicking her, I realized that a couple of girls were whispering and looking at me with expressions of horror. Through a few choice words I overheard and the looks displayed on their faces, they were horrified because they thought I was kicking a helpless mentally challenged person! I felt awful!

#3 Sour Milk

My freshman year at BYU, I lived in the now extinct Deseret Towers. Those dorms were unique in their living arrangements. Each floor had only two bathrooms (one shower, one bath, and three stalls per bathroom). Each room only had two desks, two fold-out beds, two closets and one mini-fridge to share with your roommate. When it's time to eat, you go to the cafeteria because there is no kitchen to cook and no dining room to eat.

Well, I realized one day that I had a quart of milk in the fridge that had gone bad. I didn't have a garbage in my room to throw it away in. So, I took my quart to the deserted bathroom. I didn't know whether to pour the milk down the sink or the toilet. I opted for the sink. I poured the rancid, smelly milk down the sink and then rinsed a little water in the sink to wash it out.

Apparently, the rancid milk coated the pipes of the sink and the stench wafted throughout the entire bathroom. Someone put up a sign on the bathroom that said "Enter at Your Own Risk--You Might Throw Up Because Of the Smell." It smelled in there for THREE DAYS! Everyone had to use the other bathroom because the smell was so bad and the janitors were none too pleased with what had happened.

The girl in the room right next to mine was talking about it to me. She said "If I could just get my hands on the girl who created that stink, I would grab her and punch her in the face." She really expressed a lot of vehemence. She wasn't a big girl, but she was wiry...and passionate! In a moment of self-preservation, I convincingly said "I know. What a jerk. I'd want to punch her too!"

I didn't tell anyone what had happened for at least a couple of years! Perhaps I was still afraid of getting punched! It was pretty embarrassing.

#4 Is that perfume?

I only attended two semesters of college during the summer. It just wasn't for me. I needed that mental break, ya know?

Well, one summer semester, I took a math class. I hate math. I have always stunk at math. I think I always will.

I was living at home at the time. My mom had made some lovely steaks for dinner. The grill was in our house and it had a vent that sucked the smoke from the grill. However, those of you who know me know that I have the kind of hair that soaks up any smell that is wafting through the air.

So, I sat down at my desk on the first day of this math class and realized to my horror that I smelled very strongly of steak. So, I reached into my backpack and pulled out some lotion to mask the smoky scent.

My teacher came in a few minutes later and started going over the syllabus. Abruptly, she stopped and gasped. In a wheezing voice she asked "Is anyone here wearing perfume or lotion?" In a petrified voice, I admitted that it was me. My teacher then explained (coughing, wheezing, and gasping the entire time) that she was deathly allergic to scented products and that her throat was closing up. I felt AWFUL! I asked "Would you like me to go into the bathroom and wash it off." She coughed out "That would be best. We will have to leave this room and have class in another room because the fumes are too strong." She then stumbled out of the room with her hand covering her mouth.

I was sooooo embarrassed. My classmates stared at me, dumbfounded. In an effort to lighten the situation, I said "So much for first impressions. But I guess we know how to get out of a math test if we want to, huh?" They were NOT amused. They looked at me with expressions of horror on their faces.

I snuck out of the classroom and washed off the offending lotion. Needless to say, I didn't make any friends in that class. No kindred spirits there! I never really got along with my teacher either. Later in the semester, she "borrowed" a really cool mechanical pencil from me which she never returned.

My opinion is that if she had such a horrible allergic reaction to scented products like that, she should have given her students a heads up when they were signing up for the class. The same scenario happened later in the semester with another girl who wasn't there the first day.

But it was still embarrassing! I guess it could have been worse if I had actually killed her!



How about you? What are your embarrassing experiences? 'Fess up!