You Never Know Who You're Going to Meet...

So, today I FINALLY got around to fixing my phone (Peter sucked on my cell phone over a month ago and shorted out the speaker--everything works on that phone--except that I can't talk on it because no one can hear me. However, Jeremiah has called me to tell me certain things knowing that I was listening on the other end).

I have a Cricket phone. Don't knock it. I have no problems with Cricket. They've always worked just fine for me. I have unlimited minutes, I can talk anytime I want, and I don't have a contract. But the Cricket stores do tend to attract some interesting characters...

When I arrived at the Cricket store, I gave my spiel and then sat down to wait for a customer service agent to help me. I opened up "Uncle Tom's Cabin" to read while I waited. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but EVERY time I bring a book to read in public, I never actually get to read it because someone sits down by me and asks me what I'm reading...and that, of course, starts up a conversation.

(My silliest example of that was when I was on a plane reading "It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken" and the couple next to me asked why I was reading it. I informed them that this was the time I would have been on my honeymoon if my first fiance hadn't gotten cold feet and broken up with me. They replied with beaming smiles, "We're on our honeymoon!" Gee, thanks! And why else would I have been reading a book with that particular title?)

So, I got through about a page and a half of my book at the Cricket store when a gaunt older gentleman sat down two seats from me and asked me what I was reading. He was slightly balding on top and had longish silver-gray hair that went down to his jaw-line. I told him about my book (he wasn't familiar with it) and he asked me if I was reading it for a class. I explained that I was reading it because my brother and mother highly recommended it. Besides, I love to read for the sake of reading. I only wish I had more time to do so these days!

Anyway, he asked me if I had ever thought of writing anything myself. I told him that I had, but that I didn't really have the time right now. He then proceeded to tell me that he had written a book that was carried by Barnes and Noble. Okay, interesting...he didn't really strike me as the writer type. I then asked him what his favorite book was (and this is where it gets REALLY interesting)...

He said "I am always hesitant to share what my favorite book is, but it is the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon." I don't remember my exact wording, but I basically said "Come again?" He then repeated that he had read the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon because he was able to obtain a copy from the chap who currently had it. He also felt the need to share with me that it was about 1,000 pages long (looks like the folks who stole the 116 pages DID add quite a bit to it! Oh wait, that's the lost 116 pages. But then again, he's probably read that too!).

I just felt this pit in my stomach. First of all, for those of you out there who might wonder, OF COURSE I knew he hadn't read any such thing and that I was talking to someone who was slightly off his rocker (or maybe more than slightly). Second, it's amazing how quickly the spirit can warn you about someone or something. I didn't particularly feel in any danger, but I didn't feel warm and fuzzy either. Obviously, everything that was coming out of this guy's mouth was false. Third, and finally, I actually found this situation quite funny. I mean, what are the chances, right?

He then proceeded to tell me some poppycock about the three Nephites and he also claimed that John the Beloved was actually Lazarus who was raised from the dead (yeah, not so much). That last one didn't make any sense at all! Why in the world would he believe that?

It was right about that time that I was rescued by having my name called by the customer service agent who was going to help me with my phone issues. Whew!

So, as I was being helped, I couldn't help but notice that the crazy guy I had been talking to wasn't getting his name called by any of the customer service folks (one Cricket agent actually went up to him to see if he could help him and the guy just gave some crazy excuse for being there such as "I've bought a phone from your company before."). So, basically, he wasn't a customer and was just there to share his wild religious views, I guess.

When my customer service rep finished helping me, I leaned in and whispered "I just want to cover my bases, here, but that guy sitting behind me is slightly crazy. He claimed that he had read the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon. Could you just watch me as I go out to my car and make sure that he doesn't follow me?" My wonderful customer service rep (Dang, I wish I had noticed what his name was on his nametag) simply offered to walk me to my car.

Sure enough, my religious zealot left at about the same time as I did, eyeing me with sideways glances...but I was safe and sound with my Cricket customer service escort. Whew!

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I went to the Barnes and Noble website and couldn't find any books by the title that this fellow claimed he had written!

I think I'm going to call that Cricket store and put in a good word for my Cricket hero!