A Typical Night for the Parent of a 3-Month Old

I can be somewhat of an insomniac at times (mostly when I have way too much on my mind or too many things I need to do). One of my main sources of entertainment during sleepless nights is the fact that Jeremiah talks in his sleep (I do too, but that's another story). He even laughs in his sleep (for instance, if you're watching a funny show while he's asleep, if you laugh, he'll laugh too--kind of like he's trying to fool you into thinking that he isn't actually asleep).

Jeremiah has a few versions of sleep-talking. Version 1 is completely impossibly to understand and it sounds exactly like the Swedish chef of muppets' fame. Version 2 oddly sounds exactly like English--except for the fact that it makes absolutely no sense and strictly speaking, not one word is actually English. Version 3 is Jeremiah's work talk. He has tried to talk me into buying closed down mills for demolition and has also tried to explain how to organize a warehouse to me in his sleep. Version 4, the final version, is exactly like Jeremiah's conversations when he is awake--except that he is actually asleep and he will not remember anything that he says to you or that you say to him. We have had a few miscommunications as a result of the fourth version of his sleep-talking. :)

As an insomniac, I thought I would have trouble sleeping as a new mother--what with having to get up to take care of a baby in the middle of the night and all. I wasn't worried about waking up...I was worried about not being able to get back to sleep after taking care of Peter. Boy, was I wrong! The biggest problem is trying to fully wake up because you are so exhausted that you fall into such a deep stupor of sleep.

I have the perfect example from last night. I made the critical mistake of staying up until midnight (mainly checking my email and starting this blog!). Peter went to sleep around 9:30 p.m. last night. It's sooooo hard to go to bed early when your only free time happens when Peter is asleep. So, while I knew I should go to bed, I just couldn't make myself do it.

So, after a grand total of 2 hours sleep, Peter woke up crying at about 2 a.m.--not because he was hungry--but because he lost his binky. Thankfully, Peter usually only wakes up about once a night now (at about 5 a.m.). After only two hours of sleep, I was super out of it. I stumbled to turn on the lamp by my bed and in doing so, I knocked over my water bottle and spilled a ton of water on my nightstand and on the floor. I was just grateful that the water spilled forward instead of backward because otherwise, I probably would have electrocuted myself on either my clock, phone or lamp.

I was frantically trying to mop up the spilled water with some tissues, save some wet mail that had been on my nightstand, find my glasses and comfort my baby across the room simultaneously. As I mopped up the water, I kept saying "Sweet Peter, it's okay, mommy will be there to help you soon. I'm so sorry! Mommy's almost done and then I'll get you your binky..." If I had been less groggy, the whole situation would have been a lot more stressful than it actually was.

I felt extremely relieved when I heard Jeremiah start talking because though he is hard to wake up, when he is awake, he is very helpful. I thought "Whew. Help has arrived at last." Then I heard Jeremiah say "It's okay, Peter...Mommy's coming to help you out. Mommy will be there soon to get you your binky." What!? Then I realized that Jeremiah was applying his fourth version of sleep talk and that while what he said was completely clear, articulate and understandable, he had no idea what he was actually saying because he was still sound asleep. I felt like laughing and smacking Jeremiah at the same time. :)

But all's well that ends well. I got the water cleaned up, I didn't get electrocuted, the mail was saved and Peter's binky was restored and he swiftly went back to sleep. I then tripped and stumbled blindly back to my own bed where I quickly drifted back to sleep myself.